Reduce Your Stress by Saying “NO”

Reduce Your Stress by Saying NO

The ability to say “no” is a major issue for people who are overly stressed. Perhaps your mother has asked you to take Nana to the store, but you’re in the middle of a major work project. Perhaps your best friend asks if you’d mind babysitting her children when you’ve already made plans to get a haircut. This can be overwhelming for many people. So go ahead and reduce your stress by saying “no.”

There is no reason why you should say “Yes” to everyone. There are numerous occasions when you should decline them. You’re a people pleaser if you find yourself agreeing to do things you don’t want to do. It may appear to be a desirable trait, but it is a major source of stress.

You Can’t Please Everyone

People pleasers prioritize the needs of others over their own. They are preoccupied with what other people want, think, or require, and they spend a lot of time doing things for others. They rarely do things for themselves, and when they do, they feel guilty. Being a people pleaser is exhausting.

People pleasers refrain from expressing their true feelings. They don’t ask for what they want if they think someone will be upset with them. Despite this, they frequently spend time with people who are unconcerned about their needs. People pleasers are often driven to make insensitive or unhappy people feel better, even if it means putting themselves in danger.

Constantly trying to please others is exhausting, and many people-pleasers experience anxiety, worry, unhappiness, and exhaustion regularly. They may be perplexed as to why no one does anything for them when they do so much for others but do not ask for what they require.

A people pleaser may believe that if they ask someone for help and that person agrees, that person is doing so out of obligation rather than desire. The reasoning goes that if they truly wanted to help, they would have offered without my prompting.

This way of thinking occurs because people pleasers feel obligated to assist and do not always do things they want to. Unfortunately, people pleasers have been taught that their worth is determined by how much they do for others.

You’re Not Selfish

When they do take time for themselves, they feel selfish, indulgent, and guilty, which is why they are constantly on the move, rushing to complete tasks. People pleasers are often the first to be asked to do things because they accomplish so much and are easy to get along with – they are vulnerable to being taken advantage of.

People pleasers were most likely raised in homes where their needs and feelings were not valued or respected. As children, they were frequently expected to respond to or care for the needs of others. Or they may have been silenced, neglected, or abused in some other way, teaching them that their feelings and needs were unimportant.

In many cultures, girls are raised to be people-pleasers, to put others’ needs ahead of their own. Most women have a certain amount of people-pleasing in them. Men who identify with their mothers frequently do so as well.

People pleasers are preoccupied with others rather than with themselves. They frequently feel empty or unsure of how they feel, what they believe, or what they want for themselves. This pattern can be altered, and it is possible to do so right now.

Start Saying “No”

To begin, practice saying NO. This is a crucial phrase! Say it as many times as you can just to hear it come out of your mouth. When you’re alone, say it aloud. Practice phrases that contain the word NO, such as “No, I can’t do that” or “No, I don’t want to go there.” Begin with simple tasks and work your way up to more difficult situations.

Stop answering with “YES” all the time. Before responding to someone’s request, try to pause or take a deep breath. You might want to respond to requests with “I’ll think about it first, and then I’ll get back to you” or “Let me check my schedule and call you back.” Use any phrase that makes you feel at ease and gives you time to think before responding with “YES”.

You will feel guilty when you begin, but this will not always be the case. Remember that your mental health is well worth the annoyance you may cause others. What matters is that you’re happy.

Do What Makes You Happy

Determine what gives you pleasure. You might enjoy reading magazines, watching videos, going to the park, or listening to music, for example. Allow yourself to do those things, and also enjoy them.

Request assistance from someone. I know it’s difficult, but you can do it! After all, everyone else is requesting favors from you. Be understanding if they decline your request. Just because you’ve always said “Yes,” doesn’t mean they have to say it every time as well.

Many people-pleasers believe that if they stop doing things for other people, no one will like them. If this occurs, you were being used, and they shouldn’t be in your life in the first place. People should enjoy your company because of who you are rather than what you do for them. You have earned the right to take time for yourself, to say “NO”, and to care for yourself without feeling guilty. Change is within your grasp – one small step at a time!

 

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